How Marriages Happen – Hindu Kayastha Community

Kayastha Community is also known as Kayast, who hail from North Indian States. They are part of Bengali community and are known to be the worshipers of Chitragupta. There is also a belief that Kayastha is a class of Kshatriya. In the early days, marriages in Kayastha community happened predominantly within their specific sub-castes. The people belonging to same sub-lineage could not intermarry, whereas those belonging to the same caste and different sub lineage could marry.

As in most of the Indian communities, the marriages are arranged by the parents. Once the marriage is fixed, Bariksha is celebrated as a confirmation for the alliance, in which the bride’s people send a silver bowl full of rice, turmeric and betel nut to the groom’s house along with an envelope containing some cash.

Sagai is the formal engagement in which the groom’s family members come to the bride’s house with gifts like clothes, jewelry and the engagement ring for the bride. The groom’s mother places the gift items in the bride’s sari and applies Tilak on her forehead.

Haldi will takes place separately for both bride and groom in their respective houses.This is a ritual which signify the purification of the bride’s/groom’s mind, body and soul before entering the path of marriage. The older women of the family apply oil on the bride/groom face, arms and legs.

As part of the ceremony Tilak, the bride’s relatives go to the groom’s house with clothes, jewelry, gifts, fruits, sweetmeats and the tilak made of rice and vermilion. These gift items are placed in front of the family deity and the bride’s family members bless the groom by applying the tilak on his forehead.

One of the most familiar event is Mehendi, in which professional mehendi artist makes beautiful designs on the hands and feet of the bride using henna paste. In Uttar Pradesh Kayasth community even the groom’s hands are decorated with henna designs. It is celebrated with joy by both the family members by singing and dancing.

In the event Baraat, the bride’s maternal uncle visits her house with saris, jewelry and other gift items. This is to show symbolically his support to his sister in her family celebrations. The groom gets ready for the wedding processionwith Achkan, a long jacket. He also wears a turban and a kalgi. A sword or dagger is tucked in his waistband. Before he leaves for the wedding venue all his family members apply tilak on his forehead.

At the entrance of the wedding venue, groom is given a warm reception by the bride’s family. The bride is escorted by the female relatives and friends to the wedding hall. Before stepping into the Mantap,  the bride and groom exchange garlands. This ritual, known as Jaimala, signifies their acceptance of each other as life partner.

The priest/ Pujari facilitates the wedding rituals. He lights up the sacred fire in the midst of chanting of Vedic mantras. All the auspicious wedding rituals are held in front of the Holy fire. The parents of the bride and groom offer prayers to Lord Ganesha and other deities, so that the couple can fulfill the aims of life.

In the Kanyadhan ceremony, the bride, groom and the bride’s parents stand in front of the fire. At this moment the bride’s father asks the groom whether he is prepared to accept his daughter as his wife and whether he will discharge the duties of a responsible husband. The groom accepts and the parents give away their daughter to him by chanting the names of the fathers and forefathers of both families. The bride and groom takes a promise infront of the fire and take their seven wedding vows when they go around the holy fire seven times. The Pujari continues with recital of the mantras all through the pheras.

The most emotional ceremony is the Bidaai or the bridal send off. This is filled with emotionally charged moments when the bride bids farewell to her family and friends. She begins her journey to the new house in a decorated car along with her newly wed husband and her brother.

At the entrance of her new house, the bride’s mother-in-law receives her by performing the traditional Aarathy and leads her to the family Puja/prayer room where she is seated in front of family deity. During this event the relatives come and get acquainted with the bride and give gifts.