How Marriages Happen – Hindu Chettiar Community

Chettiar community originated from South India and are also known familiarly as Chetty. It is usually a trading and Agriculture social groups. They belong to Vaishya clans of the Hindu Varna system. Chettiar is the 3rd dominant clan and surname by majority in Tamil Nadu.

In earlier days,marriage alliances among Tamil Chettiars were fixed within close relatives and weddings among first cousins were very common. In fact the first choice for an eligible bachelor would be either his sister’s or maternal uncle’s daughter. Even today,though almost all stay away from their village, they prefer to have their son/daughter's marriage in their native village.

Chettiar marriage ceremony is a long drawn procedure with various rituals, customs which is normally six days affair. Seer is common in chettiar community. It is facilitated by so called middle man ‘Tharagar’. Through this middle man the bride’s party informs the groom’s people how much gifts or ‘seer’ they are prepared to give to their daughter for her wedding.

Like for any Tamil wedding, Nichayadartham or Engagement would be the first pre wedding ceremony.When the groom’s party agrees for the wedding, ‘Nichayadartham’ is planned and held in the bride’s house. Two copies of the engagement agreement are written by a ‘pujari’/priest and these are exchanged between the two families. To make the sacred ‘mangalasutra’ known as ‘taali’ in Tamil, the groom’s parents give a part of the gold to the bride’s parents. After due consultation with priest an auspicious date for the wedding will also be agreed on the day.

Immediately next to engagement is fixing the ‘muhurthakal’ for the wedding ‘pandal’. The person who will build the ‘pandal’ applies turmeric paste and red earth on a bamboo stick and ties a bunch of mango leaves on its top. Small cups with pulses are placed in front of the pole and they are allowed to germinate.

After erecting Muhurthakal,many rituals will happen such as ‘Padaipu’, also known as ‘koodai aaki unnuthal’ in which ancestors are honored by offering cooked food. Next is  ‘Manai Poduthal’ is building the brick platform for the couple to sit on during various wedding rituals. Following is ‘Arasanikkal’, a decorated bamboo stick erected by the relatives in front of the wedding platform at the bride’s residence.

‘Mattru Kattuthal’ is creating a cloth ceiling to cover the top of the wedding platform. Ladies from both families decorate the houses with colorful designs known as ‘kolam’ made of rice flour. Members from groom’s family along with auspicious gifts come to the bride’s place to receive the sacred ‘mangalasutra/taali’. Meanwhile the groom’s maternal uncle adorns his toes with silver rings called ‘minji’.

During the wedding day, early morning the bride, after bath, is decorated with gold chains and neem leaves are kept on her head, waist, shoulders and feet. The bride takes a second bath known as ‘Kanni Neeradal” or virgin bath after the ‘Vinayaka Puja’ conducted by the ‘pujari’. This ritual is known as ‘Pooram Kazhithal.

The traditional ‘Azhagu Arathy’ is performed for the groom by his paternal grandmother just before he leaves for the bride’s house. She applies sacred ash on his forehead and bids him farewell.The groom’s procession, accompanied by the playing of the ‘nadeswaram’, is taken to a ‘Ganesh Temple’ for prayer before proceeding to the wedding venue. The bride, accompanied by her paternal aunt, walks upto the groom while her brothers shower flowers on her. She stands on a ‘kolam’ and her paternal grandmother/aunt performs the customary ‘arathy’ for her. The bride looks dazzling in a gorgeous Kanjeepuram sari as a traditional wear. The bridegroom’s dress includes a traditional white dhoti and a shirt.

The ‘pujari’ performs ‘Ganesh Puja’ for the bride and groom separately. Then the maternal uncles of the bride and groom tie bracelets known as ‘kappus’ containing a silver coin and a turmeric piece on a red cloth on their right wrists while the elders shower flowers on them. They receive blessings from the family members and friends .

Now the auspicious ‘mangalasutra/taali’ is brought in a plate and the elders bless it. The bride stands on the platform facing east while the groom stands in front of her. He then puts the garland around her neck. He receives the ‘taali’ from an elder member of the family and ties the first two knots and his sister the third one around the bride’s neck. The couple exchanging garlands three times and the blessings of the elders. The bride and the groom make seven circles around the holy fire with the priest chanting marriage rites.

After this,the fathers of the newly weds sit in the hall to sign the marriage agreement called ‘Isaivu pidimanam’ made by the priest and the marriage gets its recognition. The bride is given a ceremonial welcome into her husband’s house either by his sister or mother. For this, seven cups containing turmeric, sacred ash, rice, salt, cotton, fruits, betel leaves and tamarind are placed on a platter. The bride stands facing east and the mother or sister touches the cups seven times and applies the sacred ash on her forehead and next on the bride. Repeating this for twenty one times, she gives a betel leaf to the bride and pours water on it. The bride on her part washes her mother-in-law’s feet known as ‘padapuja’, followed by some traditional rituals in the groom’s house, to mention a few, the turmeric bath for the couple, ‘Kulam Vazhum Pillai’, i.e. the bride is entrusted with the household duties and ‘Thumbu Kattudal’-tying of the matrimonial thread around the bride’s neck etc..

After all the functions, bride’s family hosts a feast known as ‘kaichi uttrudal’ for the groom’s people. To conclude, the bride’s father removes the ‘arasanikkal’ and immerses the sprouted grains covered with a silk cloth in a nearby tank or lake.