How Marriages Happen - Hindu Brahmin Community

Under the Indian caste system, Brahmin is considered as one of the highest castes. Brahmins are a prominent community spread across the whole of India and some of them are settled in various place of the world especially in U.S.A., UK, Canada & Gulf Countries. Marriage rituals vary in North & south Indian context. In the recent days as there is not enough time available to perform all the rituals, so the marriages in Brahmin community do happen in much shorter version. Though the rituals and customs differ in each marriage, the marriage function itself signifies the lifelong commitment to companionship.  This article writen based on a typical Tamil(south Indian) Brahmin marriage, celebrated in the Vedic style, where importance is given to the traditions and rituals which have been passed on over centuries.The wedding itself used to last over 5 days in olden times, but these days, the rituals are packed into the time available, and most marriages are held over one or two days.

Marriages in brahmin communities are predominantly arranged by the parents. Horoscope plays a vital role in deciding the compatibility of the bride and groom – which indicate the planetary positions at the time of their birth, and are said to predict their character itself. Brahmin community is one of the first communities to start using the online matrimony sites in selecting the right matches.

Once the match is finalized,an engagement function is held on an auspicious day in the groom’s house and the two parties mutually agree on the proposal.This agreement is solemnized with exchange of Thamboolam (banana,coconut and betel leaf).

The main part of the wedding starts with the ‘vradham’ performed separately by the bride and the groom, which is mainly to receive the blessings from thier family deities and ancestors. An yellow thread is tied around the wrist of both, the bride and the groom, during this ceremony, which marks their oath, and reminds them of it.

The evening ceremonies begin with Janavasam. A temple is chosen for this purpose since it is a sacred place to begin the ceremonies. In the presence of the Lord, the bride’s brother is the first to welcome the groom, giving him new clothes. The groom wears the new clothes and is taken in a procession to the venue.The bride is now given a new sari by the groom’s sister.Once the bride and groom are seated, the formal engagement will takes place.

Kasi Yatra, a very important part of the ceremony. In the olden days, this is to represent that the young boy after education heading to kasi to join the ranks of sanysis. On his way the bride’s father intervenes and advises him of the superiority of married life . He also promises to give his daughter as companion to face the challenges of life, assuring him of all comforts and happiness.

Malai mathal and Oonjal happens following Kasi Yatra. During this ceremony,the bride and groom are lifted to the shoulders of their respective maternal uncles to express sibling support. Then,the marrying couple is seated on a swing, Oonjal. They rock forth and back, as women sing songs to praise the couple. The bride and groom are given milk, sugar and bananas to eat. Before the couple get up from the swing, they are asked to hold hands for the first time.

The main part of the marriage is Kanya Dhanam(Giving away the bride). The bride is made to sit on her father’s lap and is given away as a gift by him to the bridegroom. The bride is then given a new sari, exclusive for the occasion, called the koorai is chosen. This sari is draped around the bride by the sister of the bridegroom, signifying her welcome to the bride. A belt made of reed grass is then tied around the bride’s waist. The bride ties a string fastened to a piece of turmeric around the wrist of the bridegroom to bind themselves by a religious vow,called ‘Kankana Dhaaranam’. It is only after tying the kankanam that the bridegroom gets the right to touch the bride. A little later, the bridegroom ties a kankanam to the bride’s wrist.

After a few more rituals, all of which involve invoking the different deities for their blessings, the groom ties the Mangalsutra mounted on a yellow thread around the neck of the bride.To this three knots are tied. The first one by the bridegroom. The other two knots are tied by the groom’s sister to make the bride a part of their family.There are two such mangalsutras in a Tamil marriage – one from the bride’s family, and one from the groom’s family. Every family has its own pattern for the Mangalsutra, depending on which part of the state they hail from, and the Mangalsutra thus signifies the bond between the two families.Once the main rituals are completed, the elders in the families bless the couple by throwing yellow colored rice on them.

A crucial part of the wedding is the homage paid by the couple to Agni, the God of Fire. The couple goes around the fire, and feed it with ghee and twigs of nine types of holy trees as sacrificial fuel. The fumes that arise possess medicinal, curative and cleansing effects on the bodies of the couple. Then,holding the bride’s left toe the bridegroom helps her to tread on a grindstone kept on the right side of a fire.

Traditionally, some parts of the Homam are conducted after sunset, just before the bride and groom retire for the night. As part of this, the bride and groom are taken outside and shown two stars – one is the pole star and the second is Arundhati. The bride and groom are shown these stars as great personages they must try to emulate.

Since the marriage is held at the bride’s home or a venue chosen by the bride’s family, it is usually not possible for the groom to take his wife home the same day. Besides, there are loads of rituals yet to be completed. At the same time, it is believed that a new bride must enter her new house at an auspicious hour, and hence a ceremony representing her entry into her husband’s house is performed at the venue itself. She is taken to the groom’s home and is welcomed with all love and respect, the women giving her gifts and new saris. This is known as the Griha Pravesham.

Nalangu is full of games and songs conducted by the relatives of the bride and groom. This is conducted ni the evening of the marriage day to relax and play. This helps not only bride and  groom but also the relatives to get to know each other. These events bring out the qualities of the bride and the groom’s kindness, co-operative nature thus bringing about better understanding and compatibility.

Shanti Muhurtham is arranged on the night for an auspicious time for a happy and ever-lasting married life that is full of understanding and care.