How Marriages Happen – Sikh Community

Sikhism is a religion founded in Punjab during 15th Century by Guru Nanak Dev Ji. The Sikh religion today has  20 million people spread across the world and is ranked as the 5th largest religion in the world.

Sikh marriages are usually arranged by the parents. According to Sikhism, when a girl attains maturity, it is her parents responsibility to look for a suitable match for her. As the Sikh community started spreading across the world, the matrimonial websites for Sikh are becoming a useful tool for the parents. It is neither desirable nor proper to marry a girl at tender age as per the Sikhism. Historically it is followed that the daughter of a Sikh should be given in marriage to a Sikh. The Sikh marriage ceremony is also known as Anand Karaj meaning 'blissful union'.

Once both families have agreed to the alliance, the groom, with his close relatives goes to the bride's family for the formal announcement. A respected member of the family offers the 'Ardaas' or prayer and both families share gifts and sweets as token of love.

The Sikh wedding is generally held in Gurudwara in the presence of the Guru, family and friends.In Sikh Indian wedding, the festive ambiance is set a week before the ceremony. Though the Sikh marriages are simple they are elegant occasion wherein various rituals are followed.

A formal pre wedding engagement is optional as for as the Sikh wedding is concerned. Mangni is the formal 'asking' of the bride's hand in marriage by the groom's family. During this ceremony the groom's female relatives go the bride's home with a fine clothes, accessories, jewellery and toiletries. The groom arrives with his family and close friends at the venue. After a Kirtan (singing of hymns) in the presence of the Sikh Holy Book - the Guru Granth Sahib, the bride and groom exchange their engagement ring.

A custom common to Sikh wedding ceremony is Maiya. After this ceremony the bride and groom are not encouraged to leave their homes. Mehandi, is mainly for the ladies in the family and the bride's friends. The professional henna artists (mehendiwallis) decorate the palms of the bride and her friends.

Gana is an auspicious ceremony in which a red thread is tied to the right wrist of the groom and the left wrist of the bride. The morning of the wedding is marked by the Gharoli ceremony at the groom's house, in which water is brought by the groom's sister-in law which is later used to bath the bridegroom in the Khare Charna.

After the Choora ceremony, the bride start to dress up for the main wedding ceremony. On the morning of the wedding, the groom's mother sends the Kuvaar Dhoti to the bride. Bride will wear after the Vatnaan and bath.

Sehrabandi and Ghodi is to tie the traditional headdress on the groom.The women sing traditional songs appropriate to the ceremony. The groom is now ready to proceed to the bride's home for the wedding ceremony.

Wedding rituals starts with Milni Cermony in which the Baraat arrives at the venue and is greeted by the male relatives from the bride's family to the singing of 'Hum Ghar Saajan Aaye'. The bride's father and grooms father exchange garlands to greet each other. After the Milni, the couple exchange garlands. This ceremony is called Jaimala. The bride garlands the groom first accepting him as her husband.

The actual wedding 'Anand Karaj' in the early morning. In the presence of the Guru Granth Sahib, a normal Morning Prayer service is conducted, after which the 'Asa di Vaar' (the morning hymn) is sung. The bride is escorted in by her father with her face covered and is seated on the left of the groom.

The wedding can be conducted either by a respected member of the community or gurudwara. The officiator of the ceremony asks the bride, groom and their parents to stand for the 'Ardaas', after which they all bow down to the Holy Book.

The bride's father places a corner of the bride's veil in the groom's hands symbolically giving his daughter to the marriage. The groom then leads the bride four times around the Holy Book. In each of the round a short hymn is sung containing blessings and advice to the couple.

The ceremony concludes with the 'Ardaas' and is followed by the Vak. This is reading out a verse randomly from Guru Granth Sahib. The ceremony is concluded with a distribution of Karah Parshaad.

Post wedding the event Doli is performed which is the bride send-off ceremony followed by Doli Dinner. The groom's parents usually host the wedding reception, presenting the newly wed couple to their extended family and friends. A military band is often played with classical tunes.

How Marriages Happen – Sindhi Community

Sindhis originate from the Sapt Sindhu region, in the river beds of Sindhu river. Hindu Sindhis in India are a mixed blend of the traditional Hindus and little bit of sufism. Sindhi people are basically Sanatani Hindus and predominantly follow only vedic rites. Sindhis are one of the major business community across India.  

The marriages in Sindhis are usually a extravagant affair, characterized by great ceremonial splendour. In this community, there are special priests known as Mehraj, specializing in matchmaking and a Guryanni, who is mainly known for carrying the horoscopes of eligible boys and girls from house to house.

Sindhi weddings usually take place on an auspicious day, like all other Hindu Indian weddings. It is believed that the Satyanarayan Chandsi and the New Moon day are some of the most preferred days. In this article let us explore the rituals followed by the Sindhis in general.

The Sindhi customs mostly begin right from the time the prospective bride and the groom's family agree to the union, after matching the horoscopes of the two. A priest then fixes the date of wedding and both the families engage themselves in preparations and organizations for the marriage.

Kachchi Misri & Pakki Mishri Ceremony is the first pre wedding ritual conducted before marriage. Kachchi Misri, an informal engagement between the groom and the bride,where they are given coconuts and mishri as a symbolic acceptance that she/he is the one who belongs to the other family. One week prior to the wedding, the Pakki Mishri takes place.This refers to the formal engagement ceremony where rings are exchanged between the couple either in a temple or home in the presence of the priest.

Berana marks the start of the wedding ceremonies and is usually organized ten days before the wedding. Dev Bithani is conducted five to six days before the wedding after which the bride and groom are not allowed leave their homes. Ainars(marriage guards) are appointed to them who are generally their brother-in-laws.

Tih is conducted a day before the marriage where a priest, sent over by the girl's family who conducts puja with the groom to the Lord Ganesha.

Saanth/Wanwas is Conducted separately in the homes of the bride and the groom a day before the wedding. As part of this event seven married women pour oil in the center of the head of the groom/bride after which they wear a new shoe on their right foot and try to break an earthern lamp with it. If the groom/bride succeeds, it is considered a good omen.

Next is the mehndi night where the ladies of the bride's house sit together and beautify the bride.  Sounds of music and dancing will be filling the air during this event. There will also be a sangeet party as part of this event celebrated with drinks and dance.

Saagri is a ritual, involves showering the bride with flowers to bless her. In the night the groom visits the bride's house where he is showered with garlands. A feast is held for the family.  Ghari and Navgrahi puja are some of the quite a long procedural pujas held simultaneously before the wedding day at the respective homes of the bride and the groom.

The wedding day begins the Haldi ceremony. This is followed by both the bride and the groom, this involves the family members pouring oil and haldi all over the body and hair as a form of purification.

Sindhi weddings take place either in a temple, a gurudwara or a marriage hall. A mild screen is placed between the bride and the groom when they sit for the ceremony, as they are not supposed to see each other's face. They are asked to place their feet in a plate and it is believed that the partner whose feet is higher, will be the dominating one. Then the bride's mother washes their feet with milk and the pundit begins the religious chants. Shortly, the sheet is removed and the married couple take seven perambulations, conducted as per vedic rites around the sacred fire.

The last of the Sindhi wedding rituals, Saptapadi is performed when the couple places their right foot on seven small piles of rice. Afterwards, they touch the feet of the elders to seek their blessings.

After the wedding, the bride and the groom arrive separately by different routes to the home. As they approach the house, drums are beaten to announce their arrival. The new bride on arrival sprinkles milk in all corners of the house, following which she places a handful of salt in her husband's hand. This is with the belief that just as the salt mixes with everything and becomes invisible, the bride too mingle with her new family and become one with them.

The groom's family holds a reception on the evening following the wedding. Traditionally, after a short visit by the bride's father to her in-laws' house, the couple, at an auspicious time fixed by the priest, pays a visit to the paternal home of the bride.

How Marriages Happen – Hindu Arya Vysya Community

Arya Vysas are Telugu speaking  caste said to come from Andhra Pradesh. They also spread around  Karnataka, Tamil Nadu, Maharashtra and Orissa. Arya Vysyas are one of the 3 subsets of the Komati grouping. The other 2 are Kalinga Vysya and Thrivarnika. , They are also known as Gavara Komatis.

The people of this caste are mainly into business and trading activities. Arya Vysyas are strict vegetarians. This community uses different surnanames Setty, Chetty and Guptha based on the place where they live.

Marriages in Arya Vysya community are predominantly arranged by the parents. As the internet started penetrating very fast, the online matrimonial sites and marriage bureaus for arya vysya are also used by the parents to search for the potential matches.

In Aryavysya, it is encouraged that if you are a son then it is appropriate to marry the daughter of your maternal uncle or daughter of your paternal aunt. Similarly if you are a daughter then you can marry the son of your maternal uncle or paternal aunt. The maternal uncle should give his daughter in marriage to his sister’s son, even though he is illiterate or not well placed in life. For this matrimony, birth date, birth star or lagna need not be looked into. Even though traditionally it was followed, in the recent years the individual bride’s & groom’s preferences take precedence as they have more say on the marriage and their partner selection.

Once the match is found, marriage starts with many traditional rituals. Traditionally the marriages used to be celebrated over seven day period. The marriage ceremony always used to be vibrant and colourful. Historically the seven day marriage rituals included, Ganga Pooja-on the first day, Pada Pooja to elders – on the third day, Goh(cow) pooja on the fourth day, Kumba Pooja on the six day and Nadikeshwara Pooja on the seventh day.  

As part of the event  Pendlikoothuru, is the event performed in the bride and groom’s house separately. They take bath and wear new clothes. The bride/groom are not sent outside the house after this ritual till wedding completes.

On the day of wedding, Mangala Snaanam or the auspicious bath takes place early morning during sunrise.This bath is taken by both the bride and the groom individually. Such a bath implies the purification of one's self before proceeding for the marriage rituals.

Snathakam,a ritual that takes place a few hours before the actual Muhurtam. It involves only the bridegroom as he has to wear a silver thread on his body. Followed by Snathakam is Kashi Yatra, this ceremony is available in most of the hindu communities,where the groom says at the end of the thread ceremony that he has discarded worldly pleasures and is going to Kashi. To stop him from the symbolic departure to Kashi, the bride’s brother  will request the groom to marry his sister.The Groom will accept it and return home.

The Arathy ceremony is common to the Indian marriages. It is performed in almost all the marriages, with slight modifications. During the arathy , the family members apply oil on the groom and the bride and do arathy around them. It is done for several reasons, one could be to safeguard the couple from bad planetary influences, bad omens and other evil.

After having the bath,Ganesha puja performed by Groom , is considered auspicious for any important occasion as it ensures the success of the work at hand. The bride inturn worships the goddess Gowri. Gowri is the Mother Durga who symbolizes divine power, energy, woman power and fertility.

The main part of Arya vysya marriage is Kanya Dhanam.It has the girl's maternal uncle carrying the bride in a bamboo basket to the mandap (wedding place). The bride is dressed up in a bright coloured saree and precious jewellery. During the marriage, a curtain is placed between the bride and groom, so that they do not see each other till the ceremony is completed. In the Telugu community, the groom ties the Mangalsutra around the neck of the bride with three knots.There are two such mangalsutras – one from the bride’s family, and one from the groom’s family.

At the end of the Mangalsutra ceremony, the couple exchange garlands around each other's necks. And all those assembled shower flower petals and rice. This is called Akshata, the offering of turmeric-coloured rice.

After marriage,few rituals will takes place.’Griha Pravesh’ this is a common post-marriage ritual where the bride is made to enter the groom's house. This ceremony is mostly to represent the importance of the bride and offering her a warm welcome in to her new life.

How Marriages Happen – Hindu Rajput Community

The term Rajput is predominantly applied to the clans of Suryavanshi, Chandravanshi and Agnivanshi. They are the ancient ruling dynasties in the Indian sub continent. They are part of Hindi speaking Kshatriyas are mainly understood to hail from the North Indian state Rajasthan.The word “Rajput” means king’s son or prince and so rajput weddings are known to be grand and royal affair.

Rajput’s Marriage is regarded as a very serious affair in which not only the groom and the bride of both the families are involved but also the their parents and the entire family lines.The royal weddings extend to days and is overwhelming with vibrant colors and music.

Rajputs are particularly keen in the matchmaking aspect of the marriage .The match between a groom and bride is made by considering many important facts. The family is the most significant of all factors. Also care is taken to ensure that the match is perfect. The status of the families have to be at par. It is also very important that the bride and the groom are from different family claiming a common ancestor . The horoscopes have to be approved and matched by the family astrologer. Rajputs prefer to marry within the community only.

Tilak is the the official engagement ceremony where only the male members of the brides's family goes to the groom's house. No ladies go with the men in this occasion. Bride's brother apply the tilak to the groom's forehead during this ceremony. The men from the bride's family usually present the groom with gifts such as a sword, clothes, sweets, fruits etc.

The next two important events are ‘Ganapati Sthapana’ and ‘Griha Shanti’ceremony. These  happens few days earlier to the actual marriage.This nothing but the installation of an idol of Lord Ganesha and perform ‘Havan’ to receive the blessings of the god.

The next significant event is Pithi Dastoor, which is performed for both bride and the groom in their respective houses. This ceremony involves the application of sandalwood and turmeric paste for around seven days until the wedding day. The bride and the groom are not allowed to leave their respective houses as soon as this ritual starts.

One of the unique ceremonies of Rajputs is Mahira Dastoor. It takes place at both the bride and the groom's houses. This ceremony is predominantly around the maternal uncle and his family of either side. The maternal uncle along with his family makes a grand entrance and are traditionally received by his sister(bride/grooms mother). The uncle then gifts clothes, jewellery and sweets to the entire family. It is the symbolic representation of the support provided by a brother to support his sister’s family marriage function.

Before wedding the Janev ceremony is conducted. This ritual is  to make the groom to wear the sacred thread. The Rajputs wear the saffron robe with the thought that the groom has two choice before him. One that of give up the world by becoming an ascetic and the other is getting married and accepting the responsibilities of marriage . At the end of the yagna, the groom has to act as if he wants to become an ascetic by running away. And the maternal uncle tries to stop him and convince him to get married. The groom will accept the offer and return home to get married with the bride.

Palla Dastoor ceremony involves the people from the groom’s family coming with the wedding clothes and jewels collected for a bride and with some gifts known as the palla dastoor.This happens a day or two before the marriage.

The ceremony Baraat involves only the gents of the groom's family. Ladies do not take part in the procession. As part of the ceremony the bride is escorted to the brides place. The groom usually rides an elephant or a horse and carries a sword.  Also, each of the other male members of the family carry a sword.  Horses become an integral part of the marriage ceremony, the groom has to ride horse at some point of the marriage ceremony. On entering the bride’s home, the bride’s mother willl take arathy to the groom.

Then starts the wedding. The groom will be proceeded to the wedding place. In all this only the married male relatives accompany him. The wedding takes place as usual with the yagna fire and the vedic mantras. The bride has to keep her face hidden behind a long veil throughout the marriage . It is mostly attended by the women folk of the family as the men of the house remain busy tending after the barati and other guests.

After the wedding, Grihapravesh is conducted. This is actually the entry of the bride into her husband's house for the first time. The day following the grihapravesh, the pagelagni takes place. This is a ceremony where the bride, still in veil, is formally introduced to all the family members of the groom who bless her and give her gifts. The veil is then finally removed.

How Marriages Happen – Muslim Community

Islam is the world’s second largest religion after Christianity. Islam is the leading faith in the Arab world, as well as in most of the Middle East. Muslim culture all over the world is known to have one of the best in inviting and welcoming guests. Marriages in Muslim community vary significantly according to the culture of the people involved.

Muslim marriages can be conducted in different ways, depending on the culture in which they are arranged. Muslim marriages are generally arranged by the parents, with the bride and groom themselves having the final say about who they will wed. Due to this fact the online matrimonial sites for Muslims play a vital role to help the parents to find best match for their son or daughter.

The following are some of the examples of the impact on the muslim marriage rituals due to the native cultural values. Muslim Marriages in India predominantly follows the Islamic conventions followed by the middle east. It is believed that this is because the tradition was predominantly passed on by the Moghul rulers who ruled India for long time. In China the wedding happens with a Kuomintang flag in the background. Marriages in Muslims in China resembles typical Chinese wedding, excluding the Chinese religious rituals. Marriages among Muslim communities in the Philippines include the Tausug tribe, a group of people in Jolo who practice matrimonial activities based on their own ethnic legislation and the laws of Islam. Their customary and legal matrimony is composed of negotiated arranged marriage, marriage through the game of abduction , and elopement.

Though in the recent years the registration of the marriage is the legal approval for marriage, in Islam the Islamic ceremony is considered the most important than the legal agreement through registry office. Islam allows a man to have more than one wife at the same time as for as he can support them without compromising other partner. Women are also allowed to marry a different partner after a divorce. It has to be noted that though divorce allowed it is the least that god likes.

The article hereafter will look into the generic Islamic wedding ceremonies. The 'Nikah' Urdu word for marriage is a grand event celebrated over a five day period replete with rituals and customs. A Muslim Nikah or wedding can happen at any time of the day and there is no such thing as 'auspicious time'. The wedding ceremony usually takes place either in the bride's or the groom's house. But nowadays for want of space, it is conducted in marriage halls.

In all the arranged marriages a financial deal(Mahar) needs to be agreed with the prospective wife before marriage. It is intended  that this Mahar is specifically given to the bride to spend how ever she wishes. In most of the cases, the bride spends on the family welfare. It has to  be noted that even if the bride spends all the Mahar on her own, the husband has the responsibility to look after the wife and the family.

Though the wedding is given a high ritual values, people from all religious denominations can be invited to the wedding as guests.

On the day of wedding the bride wears a sparkling colourful dress. This differs based on the native culture. In the western world bride prefer white dress. In any case the groom goes for a traditional simple dress.  The Nikaah or wedding ceremony can be conducted at the home of the bride or the groom, or at any other convenient venue. A Maulvi (priest) in the presence of close family members and relatives conducts the ceremony. In orthodox Muslim communities, the men and women are seated separately. The 'Walis' (the father of the bride and of the bridegroom) play an important role in the ceremony. The Maulvi reads selected verses from the Quran and the Nikaah is complete after the Ijab-e-Qubul (proposal and acceptance). The boy's side proposes and the girl's side conveys her assent. The mutual consent of the bride and groom is of great importance for the marriage to be legal. The ceremony ends with a prayer (Duoa) for the bride and groom, their families, and the Muslim community at large.

Dinner is a lavish spread. Usually, the women and the men dine separately. After dinner, the newly-weds sit together for the first time. Their heads are covered by a dupatta while they read prayers under the direction of the maulvi. The Quran is placed between the couple and they are allowed to see each only through mirrors.

After the wedding ceremony, the bride is brought to the house of her new husband. In the house the bride will be welcomed by her mother-in-law who will be holding a copy of the Quran over the bride’s head.

A lavish wedding reception is arranged after the wedding is known as the Dawat-e-walima. It is a joyous occasion that brings together the two families, their relatives and other well-wishers.

How Marriages Happen: Roman Catholic Christians

Christianity is the third largest religion in India. Roman catholics are spread across india forming the major part of christian population in India. Wedding ceremony among roman catholics has some local flavors when it comes to India. Normally the wedding is conducted in dominant local language.

First of the marriage ceremony is to find a suitable match for the bride or groom. In India predominantly the marriages are arranged by parents. In the western countries it is significantly different where the bride and groom become friends and know each other and commit to marriage. Online matrimonial websites are prevalent in helping the parents to find out the suitable match especially in India. Once a suitable match is identified, the groom and his family visit the bride's house. The bride and the groom exchange engagement rings blessed by the parish priest.

The Roman Catholic wedding is rich in tradition and is normally conducted in church. Church is seen as most suitable place to announce and conduct the marriage, as it is the place where the whole community come together. The wedding usually takes place in the church of the bride's family. There is no uniform set of rules for Catholic marriage preparation, each couple will need to rely on information received from their parish priest who can then explain the requirements.The Catholic Groom is required to promise to continue observing the Catholic faith and to do their best to raise children as Catholics.

Bridal shower arranged by the bride and bachelor party arranged by the groom are the celebrations that happen at the eve of the wedding day to enjoy their last night of their bachelor life. It was only predominant in western countries in the early days, but now a days it has become custom in the Indian context as well.

The processional is the most well known part of the Christian wedding. The processional introduces the bride and groom to the wedding ceremony.The first part of the actual processional includes the important family members of those who are to be married. The processional often begin with the priest meeting the bride and groom at the entrance to wish them and then lead them in to the church.

Once the bride and groom are in to the church the priest greets and commences the opening prayer. Most Christian weddings will have a prayer directly following the processional. This prayer will change based on the wishes of the bride and groom, and the priest that is performing the ceremony. Those who are uncomfortable with prayer from other religions should know that the prayer will be said out loud to the entire group. This is popular in the Indian context especially if the relatives are predominantly from different community.

The most important part of the ceremony is the promise and ring exchange. Priest guides couple through this ceremony. Some couples will choose to say their own vows during this time instead of replacing the usual wedding vows.The priest will ask the bride and groom separately whether they are happy to join in the new life. The wedding will happen only if both says Yes. Priest will bless and request the couple to exchange the rings. At this point the priest pronounces the bride and groom as man and wife.The mass ends with sigining of the register, which serves as a valid document of marriage.

In most of the churches in western countries, strict discipline is followed in playing music. Many Catholic churches do not allow the classic wedding march or famous recession music as they are considered as non religious musics. In Indian context it is more relaxed, the churches do allow to play music predominantly. Churches permit floral decorations for a wedding with the understanding that the flowers remain in the church. The Catholic Church feels that flowers that are part of the wedding scene take on the spirit of the sacrament and should remain in the church for others to share.

A reception is held to celebrate the wedding. Friends and relatives invited and a grand feast is served to every one. The newly wed couple cut a cake and feed each other to celebrate their happiness.